I Trust My Intuition: Part II

Summer 2023, I woke up holding cancer between my fingertips…

One of the most important parts of early breast cancer detection is trusting yourself enough to notice when something seems irregular, and advocating for yourself by having it checked out by a professional. While navigating the challenges of being a busy mom, it can be so easy to simply ignore the signs that our body is trying to relay. Thankfully for me, this summer became a turning point for establishing my own self-care routine, which leveled up my ability to hear what my body was desperately trying to tell me.

Prior to this summer’s reawakening, I’d easily brush off concerns, thinking, “…I’m probably overreacting, an appointment can wait…” Yet, each time this thought surfaced, I experienced a visceral pushback—a deep, hard-to-explain gut feeling that couldn’t be ignored.

Trusting my instincts, I sought a referral from my primary doctor. Being a woman under 40 without any previous history, I knew a referral was a required step to ultimately be scheduled for a mammogram. It was during this referral appointment that two “pebbles” were located on my left breast. The PD half expected the findings to be either calcium deposits or scar tissue. To be sure, she did agree to send a referral to imaging, and I was instructed to wait for a call from the imaging center to setup the mammogram appointment.

It was during this few weeks waiting period that God introduced me to yet another step I would be taking as I moved closer to my cancer diagnosis…

I went out for dinner with my high school besties—Our ritual ladies’ night every few months to reconnect. During the evening, a man and woman recognized my friend, Caroline, and stopped to say hello. Back in college, the man, Minesh shared residency with Caroline. It seemed like just a brief incidental meeting at the time. I had no inkling of a forthcoming cancer diagnosis. Little did I know that the man I casually met that night, would very soon become a major player through my cancer journey as my Oncologist.

The awaited mammogram appointment finally arrived. Anticipating a potentially lengthy wait in the waiting room, I packed all my favorite music, intending to use the time to study. At that point, I was immersed in preparing new music for auditions scheduled in New York the following month. Despite the looming medical appointment, I wasn’t overly concerned. Maintaining a clear and positive attitude is crucial in any situation, and I was committed to prioritizing my health by showing up.

Entering the mammogram, I maintained my usual cheerful demeanor, cracking jokes and laughing. At the moment, I half-expected that the procedure would reveal nothing concerning. However, during the mammogram, I noticed a shift. What initially seemed routine began to evolve into something more.

From one mammogram to another, the situation escalated. I found myself referred for an immediate ultrasound. Initially, the atmosphere in the room was light-hearted, with the technician and I sharing laughter. Suddenly, everything changed. The technician’s demeanor shifted abruptly, and she became intensely focused on the scans. I could sense that this was no longer a routine check.

By the end of my mammo/ultrasound appointment, I was scheduled for the first available needle biopsy two day later.

This is where real fear began to creep in, and I knew that my initial gut instinct was correct all along…

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